UNITED NATIONS. SEND IN JAN EGELAND...ON A RING TONE!

 

1 FEBRUARY 2014

SEND IN JAN EGELAND...ON A RING TONE!

"If there is no one you can trust
Send in Jan Egeland."

It is not a diplomatic memo nor a confidential advice. It's a pop song with over 8 million followers on YouTube. It's lead singer is Norwegian artist Ylvis, who is obviously proud of his compatriot, former U.N. Under-Secretary General for Humanitarian Affairs. Thousands attending their concerts have been repeating the refrain "Egeland," with background photos of "The United Nations superhero," "Peacekeeping Machine," "Blue eyes," "Clean shaved," who can "cry and still be a man." At one point, to go with the narrative flow, he is pictured wearing a head band -- muscle-toned, or braving torrential rain.

TV Norge has been showing it since it came out over two years ago. Now it went viral on YouTube. It sounds like a pop song and reads like a letter of recommendation. A cross between admiration and farce. Yet it's fun to watch. You can even send it as a ring tone to your phone!

Here are the lyrics:

Gray hair, glasses, suitcase
Humble, clever
And constantly working for peace
Uganda, Congo
And the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan

Not as famous as Gahr StÝre
Not a daddy's boy like Jens
But when handgrenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust

When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
The United Nations superhero man

Mad dictator with a gun
Send in Jan Egeland
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland

Blue eyes, firm hands, nice legs
Clean shaved body
Drinking his proteinshakes
Spray-tan, skin cream
And buttocks like he was eighteen
He's a peacekeeping machine

And he stares into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
And he says "Boy, I think you're ready
To protect some human rights"

When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations Superhero man

He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland

When he's sad he goes to funerals,
In unusually heavy rain
Large amounts of water in his face
But that doesn't hide his pain

He breaks down just like a homo
And starts crying just like a girl
But I guess you can cry and still be a man
If your dayjob is saving the world

When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
He's a macho musclepumping crying God

If there's one man you should trust
It is the Janny-boy
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland

"Blue eyes...Clean shaved...Peacekeeping machine..." Egeland!