1 September 2004

Why don't you too run for Secretary General? Everyone else is. Even the current incumbent is coy about it. Were it not for those annoying reports on Food-for-Oil, Sebrenica, Rwanda, Baghdad Bombing and other yet unpublished stories, one would have looked forward to a clamor for a third term. The "high level" distinguished panel on reform may still come out with a refreshing atmosphere. David is still working on it. Richard is promising -- if John wins. Ed is writing letters. Fred will always do the right thing. Ted could still draft another acceptance speech -- although Gillian has moved out but remains in touch from across the street.

But it looks like Elvis has already left the building. So lighten up, Wlody. You may be the one. And why not? Who are those candidates from Thailand, Sri Lanka and Singapore bragging about their strange sounding unpronounceable names. Let them try to pronounce yours, if they can. At least you were a distinguished Foreign Minister of the country that produced Chopin and Copernicus, let alone that stern General with an equally difficult name and the darkest eyewear east of the Danube. In case of any questions, you may seek valuable advice, as usual, from Gregory Kostrzewa-Zabrin Kinsky. You could also draw on other European countries, particularly small ones big egos. If you wished to avoid approaching competition politicians you could contact Dutch expert Hans Wilhaus Van der Weilen. Otherwise, Gunther Verheugen may come in handy. He is European Commissioner for Enlargement. That's an intriguing question with an exciting potential. Then there's always our remarkable former colleague Maarti Ahtisaari. He may want the job for himself, however. You would be safer, then, with his former colleague Anneli Jaatee-Maki. Otherwise Matti Kuusimaki, Finland's Prosecutor General comes to mind. So, take a step on the wild side Wlodzimierz Cimoszewiz, and run. It will help if you had valuable information on where some bodies were buried. If you have skeletons in your closets, you could be half way there. Permanent members with veto power would welcome someone whose nuggets were held in their safe vaults.

Finally, if you make it, don't forget that you saw it here first. Also, please bring back to New York Zbigniew Maria Wlosowicz. We miss her loving mother's delicious cookies!