|HELLO WLODZIMIERZ CIMOSZEWIZ!
1 September 2004
Why don't you too run for Secretary General? Everyone else is. Even the current incumbent is coy about
it. Were it not for those annoying reports on Food-for-Oil, Sebrenica, Rwanda, Baghdad Bombing and
other yet unpublished stories, one would have looked forward to a clamor for a third term. The "high
level" distinguished panel on reform may still come out with a refreshing atmosphere. David is still
working on it. Richard is promising -- if John wins. Ed is writing letters. Fred will always do the
right thing. Ted could still draft another acceptance speech -- although Gillian has moved out but
remains in touch from across the street.
But it looks like Elvis has already left the building. So lighten up, Wlody. You may be the one. And
why not? Who are those candidates from Thailand, Sri Lanka and Singapore bragging about their strange
sounding unpronounceable names. Let them try to pronounce yours, if they can. At least you were a
distinguished Foreign Minister of the country that produced Chopin and Copernicus, let alone that
stern General with an equally difficult name and the darkest eyewear east of the Danube. In case of
any questions, you may seek valuable advice, as usual, from Gregory Kostrzewa-Zabrin Kinsky. You
could also draw on other European countries, particularly small ones big egos. If you wished to
avoid approaching competition politicians you could contact Dutch expert Hans Wilhaus Van der Weilen.
Otherwise, Gunther Verheugen may come in handy. He is European Commissioner for Enlargement. That's
an intriguing question with an exciting potential. Then there's always our remarkable former colleague
Maarti Ahtisaari. He may want the job for himself, however. You would be safer, then, with his former
colleague Anneli Jaatee-Maki. Otherwise Matti Kuusimaki, Finland's Prosecutor General comes to mind.
So, take a step on the wild side Wlodzimierz Cimoszewiz, and run. It will help if you had valuable
information on where some bodies were buried. If you have skeletons in your closets, you could be
half way there. Permanent members with veto power would welcome someone whose nuggets were held in
their safe vaults.
Finally, if you make it, don't forget that you saw it here first. Also, please bring back to New York
Zbigniew Maria Wlosowicz. We miss her loving mother's delicious cookies!